The latest travesty from the Zapatero circus which we laughingly call the government is the news that the pregnant minister for defence, who is a woman (but not a lady), has imposed strict censorship on staff which prevent them from surfing the Internet while they are at work in order to look for the football results or to find pictures of naked women, whether they are pregnant or not. Is a big disgrace!

Could it have something to do with the fact that she is Catalan and Barcelona is doing shite in Primera Liga this year? Is this why she has banned web sites of Madrid sports newspapers but not the partisan and biased Catalan media? And why, we must wonder, have she banned perfectly normal heterosexual pornography but not gay magazines? If she were a man, she would know full well that all men get unwanted erections in the workplace, every afternoon, around 3.00 p.m., so it is essential they look at images of naked women and not naked men before they skulk off to the office toilets to relieve themselves. I understand that the Ministry, which is almost all staffed by men, operates a rota system which is posted on the noticeboard in the kitchen, informing all staff of when the toilet is free for their use. With woman in charge, I espect that now she will even ban masturbating at work. It make me sick.

Is not that I object to censorship, you understand. Nor does anyone in the military. What is objectionable is having some mad woman, her head filled with deranged notions because of the hormones raging through her fecund body, being let loose around a government department where there are knives, guns, missiles, a very espensive surveillance system, including the Internet, and a very important esprit de corps based on virility, duty, obedience, male bonding, and laying your body down for your comrades. Ask your self this: Who in their right minds would let a pregnant woman decide what you can or cannot watch on television? Is bad enough trying to watch the football on television when your girlfriend is NOT pregnant, I imagine. So think what it must be like if she was pregnant. And just consider what impact this is having on morale in the ministry, especially when Madrid are doing so well (ten points ahead of Villareal, 11 points ahead of the stupid Catalans).

The head of the AUME, which is the military association, make the observation that this behaviour by Chacón is just like the sort of thing a parent is doing when she want to filter the Internet access of her children. He is quite right. Chacón is treating the staff of the ministry like they are her children. Is probably a good thing she doesn’t have any, then!