Si, is brilliant Spanish bicyclist Carlos Sastre, who win France’s Tour de France last week in Paris, France, putting the seal (and also the lion) on a fine summer for Spanish virility, which have seen the man-boy-child Rafa Nadal also lick all-comers at Wimbledon, England, and the genius national football team win Euro 2008 in Switzerland, Austria, by beating all inferior European races including those that didn’t even qualify! Sastre, also, I have no need to reminding you, continues the tradition for Spain of being better than other countries, by succeeding Alberto Contador Velasco, who win last year’s Tour de France, also, coincidentally, in Paris, France, as detailed in these very pages.
What does all this say about Spanish manhood, I hear you ask? Well, in the immortal words of Bruce Lee, it mean that the Spanish are no longer the sick man of Asia! It demonstrate definitively that in spite of their diminutive size and socialist government, Spanish men are able to transcend the limitations that restrict other European men (lack of piety, no sense of humour, pickled food, foot odour, and so on) and thereby demonstrate the intrinsic superiority of both Spanish lifestyle and culture and genetico-politico-historico-economico inheritance.
And all this in spite of the threats to our heritage, for I read in English liberal paper the Daily Telegraph that so-called “scientists” are saying that too much bicycling can lead to erectile dysfuction and a decline in sperms counting. The reason is, apparently, that the saddle restrict the blood flow around the Scrotal Sac, which is in Derbyshire, and the penis, resulting in numbness, restriction of blood flow, and no fun getting it up. Of course, the research is inconclusive, having been carried out on hamsters in wheels and gerbils on tiny bicycles, but there is a lesson to be learned and I will teach it you.
As ever, this is yet another problem for which we can blame Modernity. Thanks to the muddled thinking of Enlightenment thinkers which result in the so-called Scientific Method, the world has been flooded over the last 200 years with all sorts of new-fangled inventions and contraptions, such as penicillin, the television, toilet paper, the condom, mirrors, genetically modified food, helicopters, the DX4 T109 ruthenium oxide cryogenic temperature sensor, car parks, Ruth Madoc, and bingo. This has led to people getting feeble and weak and soft and decadent. Nature no longer weeds out the weak; thanks to “science,” the inferior members of the species are able to survive burst appendixes, heart attacks, stroking, fatness, being American, and death. As a consequence, human genetic inheritance has been feebilized and our sperm are committing suicide rather than produce another lazy fat baby.
This is in stark contrast to the days when I was a young boy in the 1950s. How well I remember the cycle rides which the priests used to take all the young boys on around Teruel. Do you think we had saddles back in those days? Of course we did not. They had not been invented yet! Instead we used to sit on the upright post, which was inserted inside us by the priest using special holy lubrication before we set on our way. And believe me, he always was checking beforehand to ensure that we had plenty of blood flowing between our legs before we set off. And at the end of the day’s cycling, he would also do a sperm count of every boy. Not one of us ever failed. And that was because of the fresh air, the harsh discipline, the lack of material comforts, and the devotion to piety of our superiors. You would not see that these days, not even on YouTube.
Is all a terrible shame, but as this summer has shown, Spain still have plenty of spunk in her yet!