Is in the news this week that four British naglers have captured and arrested the world’s largest catfish, not in Loch Ness or Hyde Park as you might espect, but in the River Ebro not far from Barcelona.
Of course, there is a very good reason why we have the world’s biggest catfishes in Spain. Is because the River Ebro is filled with lots of nourishing nutrients, such as potassium, mangnesium, titanium, salt, water, saltwater, cheese, vitamins, sodium peroxide, galena, iridium, byzantium, cardboard, shopping trolleys, and smaller fish. But also is because catfishes is living for a very long time, the lifespan of the average catfish being 195 years, during which time they are very smart and rarely get caught, until they are senile, as this one obviously was, since it was outsmarted by 4 englishmen.
Being so old, this catfish have been able to take advantage of the particular natural advantages of its environment that have make it especialy furtile. Thanks to the battle of the River Ebro during the Spanish Civil War for Golf, thousands of traitors to Spain, foreign Communist atheists, and Jews with no sense of direction managed to fertilize the soil of the nation with their blood. This was not their intention, of course: Only proud nationalists try to fertilize the soil of Spain with their blood, dying a glorious and escruciatingly painful death surrounded by their whimpering proud comrades.
Neverthenonetheless, even though foreign cosmopolitan blood is inferior in quality to Spanish blood, thanks to the sheer numbers of traitors killed at the Ebro, the river was made especially fruitful and a perfect place in which for catfish to develop their bloodlust and taste for human flesh. Indeed, even as this picture was being taken, there was a school of man-eatings catfish on their way to devour the four idiot yorkshiremen who are standing in the river while holding one of the school’s members prisoner. Would not be surprise me if he was liberated pretty quickly. Catfish have a very long memory, much longer than englishmen. Five minutes or so. Will be just like the last time the guts of an Englishman was being spilt in the Ebro, in 1938.
The catfishes is saying to themselves, “Hooray! Is just like the good old days!!” and “Pass the mustard, George!”
But they will be sick in the morning. The English don’t not agree with anyone.