Has been a really appalling week for the human race as I espect you have seen. First, last Sunday, Lewis Hamilton win the world car racing championship by coming fifth in Brazil, and now on Tuesday Barack the Obama win the American elections, the first half-black man in history to be president since Father Abraham Lincoln. This mean of course that the most powerful man in the world is now not a white man but two black men! Is a big disgrace!
But look closer and you will see a disturbing bigger underlying truth. If you take the name Barack Hussein Obama and the name Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton and then eliminate the letters that are common to both, you end up with the letters n-a-m-s-a-u-s-i-r-e-v-i-d-r-e-k-c-b-l-a, and if you are intelligent and have five hours to spare (like me) you will realize that these letters make up the phrase “BLACK DRIVER IS USA MAN”!! Do you know what this mean? It mean that Lewis Hamilton and Barack the Obama are BOTH the Antichrist!
I know what you are going to say. You will say to me, “Manuel, have you become some sort of idiot Evangelical Born-Again Christian Protestant cretin?” Because is usually them who are always saying “John Stewart is the Antichrist” or “Hillary Clinton is Mrs. Antichrist” or “The Dalai Llama is the Beast.” And I will say this. “No. Because I thought of this one first. This one belong to us!” Also, Born-Again Protestant Christians by definition are wrong, whereas I am right. What is more, these events fulfill the prophecies in the book of Revelation by Saint John the Hallucinator and also a book I have under my bed written by a nun with permanent migraines, Mystic Mags, called Chariots of the Beast, in which she is saying
And did then the dark-countenanced one remove his helmet and the world trembled at his voice. I have come to overturn the chariots of my forefathers, he said. I have come to pit brother against brother, to pit sister against mother in law, to pit younger brother against second cousin twice removed. I have come to the pits.
And then did the dark-countenanced one cast off his garments and take another guise, and the people, not recognizing the Beast, hailed him, and verily there was much wailing, and there was much gnashing of teeth, and there was much chewing of gum.
This, I think you will accept with me, is conclusive evidence that Lewis Hamilton and Barack the Obama are both the same incarnation of Evil. Indeed, even the word “Incarnation” contains the words “car” and “nation.” What more proof could any sensible person need?!
We must act now, before all of humanity is deceived into following the Beast, as prophecised by the Book of Revelation and the headachey nun. We must spread the news to everyone, although I know this will be a thankless task, and we will wander Cassandra-like in the deserts, with people laughing at us and mocking the foolishness of our ideas. For me, is not a problem. I am used to being laughed at. Usually I console myself by pitying the poor fools in their ignorance, and tell myself that they won’t be laughing when they’re dead, whereas I shall be up in Heaven, laughing at them very much. But this time I know that there are many many people who are feeling the same way as me: I saw them all crying on the television when they hear the terrible news that the Beast had won.
But do not be in any doubt, this is a dangerous mission. If people do not laugh at us the way the Beast would prefer, then they will be taking us seriously, but if the people begin to take us seriously and join our army to overthrow the Beast and have him stripped of his Formula 1 title, then do not be in any doubt, the Beast will move against us and we will all die terrible, bloody, painful deaths.
Are you with me, everyone??!!