Those Crazy Greeks!!


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“I Will Just Finish This Drink, and then We Will Have the Riot!”

I have been watch with bemused contempt the rubbish rioting of the idiot Greeks over the past few days on the television and shaking my head wisely to myself, saying, “this would not have happened in Plato’s day.” But of course, it would, because the Greeks have never had the proper religion that would have prevented all this malarkey. Instead of religion they had stupid philosophy, which I can make neither head nor tale of, and I suspect neither could the Greeks, which is why they riot.

Like any half-formed civilization, they did of course try to have the religion, but they end up not with proper Catholicism but instead with a cut-price version of Christianity which they call the Geek Orthodox, led by a man with a beard called the Primark, who look like Santa Claus with a cake on his head. The Geek Orthodox have some strange beliefs, such as that Jesus spoke Greek, when we all know that he spoke Spanish, which we know because the Bible is written in Spanish, and also that the Sabbath is on the first Wednesday in every month with a “P” in it. Also they believe that Jesus was a spaceman and that monkeys can fly airplanes.

But to return to my main point, the reason why the Greks is rioting is because of the philosophy and the lack of Catholicism. For proof of this, you only need to go back a few years to look at the case of Socrates, who went around the place in his shorts and smoking cigarettes while undermining discipline and sowing seeds of doubt in people’s heads by asking them such questions as “How do you know I am here?” and “If a dog bark in a crowded room, can anyone hear themselves speak?” and “Who left that window open?” (the same question ask by John F. kennedy the day he get shot, incidentally). And when someone give him the correct answer, he would say, “But how do you know that?” Because he insist that nobody truly know anything at all, not even him, escept that at least he knew that he didn’t not know and didn’t not know even that! Yes, Socrates was a great big pain in the hole, like one of those really annoying teenagers who answer every statement you make with “Whyyyyyy?” in a sarcastic whiny voice that make you want to thump them regardless of Child Welfare authorities. Is no wonder they make Socrates drink the wenlock.

And this indiscipline have been going on among the Greeks ever since. After Socrates there was Ariston, who went on and on and on and on and on. He go around asking, “What is the good life for man?” and before anyone could answer him, saying, for esample, “Obey the pope and your superiors and don’t ask no questions,” or “Laughing at the misfortune of others,” he is saying, “I’ll tell you what it is, it is the Golden Mean. Not too much of anything and not too little of anything.” And if people say, “Well, that’s no help whatsoever. By definition too much or too little of anything is bad. You’re not a philsopher, you’re a charlatan in a toga. And that’s not even a real beard,” he would just smile knowingly to himself and walk away quietly with your front gate, and you have to call the police.

The Greeks are full of people like that: Diogenes the Cynic who live in a barrel and masturbate in public, just like Greek men in Spain do today; Axolotl the incurious, who write no philosophy but espect all his students to answer his questions for him; Thesaurus the Prosaic, the famous pedestrian philsopher who walk everywhere and eat houmous while he philosophize and thereby give rise to the so-call Peristaltic school; and Platitudinous the Dull, who was make famous for his philosophical statements that are even today estremely commonplace, such as “Hmm, that’s nice,” and “Is it cold in here or is it me?”

It go without saying that a society that is base on asking questions and investigating all and sundry cannot be a stable society. Society is based on discipline, order, obedience, and unquestioning allegiance to the flag. Franco understood this, and so did Jesus. You must have faith in your betters, even if what they do appear, at first glance, to be corrupt, self-serving or unjust. Who are you, after all, to have any idea what constitute justice? An ignorant peasant is who. Or worse, a student.

Is wht happens when you put the university just a stone’s throw from parliament. It give students ideas, and that is the last thing you want!!

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10 Responses

  1. ProudToBAGreekd

    April 2, 2009 9:20 pm

    Can you spell something right in your native language?

    Irish pigs bastards… AXE AND FIRE TO THE ENEMIES OF GREECE

    Long live Greek proud nationalism

    Fuck the barbarians

  2. Wolf

    April 2, 2009 10:52 pm

    So let’s talk a bit more civilized can we?

    What is this crap here guys? How you both sides can produce so much crap?

    You Irish guys why do you hate us? Why this hate propaganda towards us Greeks? What we have done to you? Ok I can understand you do not agree with the vandalism, riots etc… neither me. On the other hand the police is not the best force in Greece. There are so many far right skinheads in the police force there and they cause troubles. Do you support the murder of the young buy? You have to know the violence from the government in Greece is not a new phenomenon and has made the people really angry the past 40 years.

    I don’t get all your aggressive attack about our history! Why do you hate our history so much… please do not forget the celtic philosophy exists thanks to some ancient Greeks… no one can deny it. From where all the hate comes from and why? The catholic church…. full of crap…

    ProudToBAGreekd what is this nonsense here?

    Please let me know when you see that, so maybe we can have a quick chat about that. ProudToBAGreekd I simply do not wanna talk with you at all… you make me feel ashamed for being Greek…

  3. Wolf

    April 2, 2009 10:55 pm

    I forgot to mention by the way, we are the only country (maybe) who has absolutely nothing against you. On the contrary every Greek person you will ask, you will get nice comments about Ireland. So why??????????

    Please let me know what is the wrong with us, what really bad we have done to you and I will apologize for that in front of the public

  4. Donagh

    April 3, 2009 11:24 am

    The above post was written as a satirical article, where the satirist was ‘channeling’ the ‘voice’ of a Spanish fascist called Manuel Estimulo. It is a fictional construct. It is supposed to take the piss out of fascists everywhere, whether moderate and hard line, their stupid, hate filled rhetoric and everything they stand for. The ‘views’ expressed by the character Manuel do not represent those of anyone at Irish Left Review. In fact the whole point is that they are contrary to the views expressed normally in ILR and other similar left publications. Further more it does not reflect the views of ‘Irish people’ and their attitude towards the Greeks.

    I regret that those who have identified themselves as Greek people and who left some very negative comments didn’t get it. Some of these I have deleted, as they are offensive. Others I have left as a record.

    If anyone wants to have a debate about the appropriateness of satire, what subjects can be tackled and how they are addressed, please go a head. All further comments relating to the poor quality of Hiberno-Grecian relations will be deleted.

  5. Wolf

    April 3, 2009 4:30 pm

    Well, then don’t get surprised if you get that aggressive fascist comments from the other side. Just to let you know some Greeks are very “proud” for their country and you do not show with big letter, this is a satire post (and all the things you said).

  6. Costas

    June 9, 2010 10:03 pm

    I am a Greek and find this post quite amusing. However
    you must take notice that many Greeks did not get it, mainly because maybe they are not familiar with this site or due to poor English skills.

  7. Manuel Estimulo

    June 10, 2010 7:11 am

    Hola Costas!

    Muchas gracias por your comment, but I was not espect Greek fascists to understand. We fascists are proud of our own countries and have no need nor desire to larn foreign languages, foreign traditions, foreign senses of humours, or foreign foods. This is not because we hate everything foreign. Is because we believe we have enough in our own culture that anyone should want and need and that it is better than anything anyone else have.

    Also we believe in hate and war.



  8. Poutsaras

    November 3, 2011 6:41 pm

    Ignorance at its best…
    Manuel you have to start reading some history not learn anything (I don’t think you have the capacity) but just to get a glimpse of what those crazy philosophers were trying to say.

    Based on their writing and many more Greeks learned to respect all cultures, that’s why Greece was always a crossroad of cultures.

    We crazy stupid Greeks now your language (70% read and write English) and also much about your history. Just try to learn something and stop saying commenting on things you don’t even remotely understand. Please…