No, Silly, is not Cirque du Soleil. Is Mussolini being hanged by the Garibaldis!
Whenever peoples are asking me to esplain to them the intricicasies of the Spanish Civil War for Golf, I always tell them, “ask your priest!” But sometimes they are persisting, because it is all too complex for even a man of the cloths to understand, and besides they know that I will give them the truth, rather than an impartial, objective “historical” account.
What they are all wanting to know is: How come the Trostskyists and the Anarchists were both fighting for the republic yet were also Fascists, as the Soviet Union said. Also, how come the Soviet Union was betraying the Spanish working class and undermine its revolution when it was meant to be the vanguard of the international proletariat. Also also how come the Generalísimo’s best fighters in the crusade for Christian Spain were the Moors who he set loose upon fellow Spaniards to do the pillage, rape, torture, and murder for Christianity. How come also the Irish was fighting on both sides? And where were the crazy Greeks? And many other such intriguing questions that the war throw up like undigested liver and onions.
First of all, I make them sit them down, and then I make them stand up again and go to the bar and buy me a Cardenal Mendoza. And when they come back I esplain to them that the war was really a very big and sad misunderstanding that was mainly the result of the fact that a large proportion of the people of Spain, such as the Basques and the filthy Catalans, did not speak Spanish properly, and as a consequence there was lots of crossed lines, faux pas like the bombing of Guernica, and other summary massacres that was really just lapses in etiquette. Because, what you are having to understand about the Spanish people as a whole, is that all of them are, in reality, natural fascists, like all peoples in other countries too, especially the Irish, who I espect were fighting on both sides just to make sure.
All this confusement about the war was brought to mind by the comments of the mad crazy anarchists and fascists who have been leaving comments on my blog over the past few weeks. On the one hand, there have been peoples such as Poutsas, who claim to be an anarchist and then call me a “stupid cunt,” which is unusually florid and angle-saxton language to hear from anyone of the politically correct persuasion these days. And then, on the other hand, there is peoples like Neonazi Greek and Greek Nazi who use language that is either much too educated and correct grammatically for a proper fascist, or else they describe engaging in filthy disgusting homosexual practices that I thought was only allowed in Masonic rituals! You can see how easy it is for people to get the wrong end of the stick when there are fascist thug anarchists and genteel homoerotic Nazis. How are the police going to know which ones to beat about the head?!
Which all bring me back of course to Benighted Benito, pictured above doing political gyrations for which he was well known. Mussolini begin his political career as a socialist and syndicalist but only later did he see the light and become true to his nature and adopt fascism. He was realizing that very often people’s purported political beliefs are really just a disguise, a justification for their resentments, grudges, and self-interest. Instead of pretending to be principled and idealistic, he decided to to be sincere about his prejudices and biases. If you happen to know any fascists yourself, you will know already that they are all always very honest. They hate intellectuals and people who are better educated than themselves, and they hate people who have more money than them, and they hate women and foreingers, and they hate liberals, and they hate the Jews. In other words, they are just like everybody else, with the difference that they make no effort to conceal their feelings. They are like you only more sincere!
This is why Mussolini had to be hanged and beaten like a pinata, of course. Because honesty always makes people uncomfortable. And also because of all the people he killed. But at least the people he killed knew he had integrity, whereas when the anarchists was killing people, they were not only committing murder, they was also doing it in Bad Faith. Think how their victims must have felt!
Yes, war between fascists is a terrible, terrible thing. And yet, somehow, it seem to be so right!