Pay Attention Juan Carlos!!

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And This Does Not Include My Duke of Edinburgh Award!!

Si, is the Prince Phillips of England, spouse of the Queen but not a king himself, just a sort of male First Lady, but with more balls than Laura the Bush and Michelle the Obama, although not Hillary the Clinton. Indeed, some people are say that Prince Phillips compensates for not being the king by his escessively aggressive xenophobia, homophobia, hydrophobia, quadrophenia, and misogyny, but I say, “not at all!” There is nothing escessive about any bits of him! In fact, he is an esample of one of those crazy Greeks who we would all do well to learn from. He always speaks his mind and it never take him very long.


Phillips is in the news this week because the so-called neo-Nazis of the British National Party have announced that they are boycotting a Buckingham Palace Garden Party to which they have been invited because of the likelihood that he will be there. They have said in a statement that “we do not wish to be associate with estremists, racists, nutters in general, or people who make slitty-eye faces or the jokes about suntans and nig-nogs. The British Nazi Party is a respectable democratic organization that will have no truck with antiquated reactionary ideologies and does not think Dukes should be allowed on platforms or that Prince is even a proper name, escept for a dog. Political estremists of all stripes should be sent back to wherever they come from or hunted down like Jews.”

This, I think, show an utter lack of sense of humour on the part of the BNP, not to mention a lack of respect for the less important members of the royal family. Have they already forgotten Prince Harry’s swastika armband, Prince Williams’s aryan good looks, Prince Charles’s adoration of Albert Speer, Lady Diana’s tribute to Jorg Haider? I, for one, would kill any number of my own family, or indeed the royal family, to get a chance to meet the Duke of Earl. He is what every modern monarch (or monarch’s wife) should be. He is tall, like Michelle the Obama, he have a grimacey smile like Hillary the Clinton, and he is bald, like Laura the Bush. But more importantantly, he uphold traditional British values which the British themselves have seem to forget, such as anti-intellectualism, killing things, and awkwardness in social situations, the major English character trait and which esplain why, historically, the English was always preferring killing people to meeting them, all the better if it could be done from a distance, such as over Dresden.

I look at our own dear king, the doting and moribund Juan-Carlos, and I wish that we could do a swap. Prince Phillips look like a thrusting dynamo in comparison. He is Patrick Swayze to Juan-Carlos’s Farrah Fawcett. I bet that if Prince Phillips had been king of Spain during El Tejerazo, he would not have peed in his trousers and told the army to get back to the barracks. No! He would have rub his thighs in delight and say “Bring it on, you beauty!” or whatever the English aristocracy is saying whenever it daydream about the mass slaughter of the working class. In fact, I think he would have been leading the coup himself, with his trusty shotgun in his hand shooting down the peasants like pheasants and the pheasants like grouse.

The British Nazi Party need to take a good look at themselves and laugh. That is what Prince Phillips would do.

Maybe that is why they are too scared to go. He would outwit them.

Is a joke!

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