
Is an International Outrage!
For How Much Longer Will We See Images like This?!
I am sure you were both horrified, like me, to read in the newspapers this week about the disgusting debate in the Catalan parliament to ban bull-fighting forever in that region of Spain. Those of us with any sense of history or appreciation of cultural identity will realize what a disgraceful attack this is, not just on a people’s sense of nationshood and therefore natural justice, but also on Mother Nature herself, over whom God have given us dominion in the confidence that we will custode it wisely and with a proper and appropriate respect for its rules (kill or be killed, dog-eat-dog, Man is wolf to Man, wolf is man to wolf, you can lead a whore to water, many hands make light aircraft, and cetera).
If history is teach us anything, it is that the majority of the world’s species alive today would not be alive were it not for the fact that they serve some purpose to humanity. The Dodo, for instance, is a prime esample. Once it had serve its purpose to mankind, in providing food, then it become estinct. Ecologists, sociologists, theologists, and macrobiotics are all unanimal on this: There would be no cows or pigs or sheeps on this planet, were it not for mankind husbanding them, wifing them, then killing and eating them. Is because mankind have a vested interest in their perpetuance that they are still around, whereas other animals that are not so tasty, such as the unicorn, are long gone. Why are you think Noah did not bother putting it in the ark? Because they are taste like shit! (And also because their horn could make significant damage beneath the water line if they broke loose and went on an escapade). Imagine what the world would be like with no cows, pigs and sheeps. It would be less smelly, certainly, and we could have a much better road and rail infrastructure once we had concrete over all those fields, but on the other hand, you would not have no hat. Nor sandals. Both of which are made from cow. You would have no bacon sarnies, no electricity, no pork scratching, and girls would have no pigtails, because they are all made from pig. And there would be no sheeps.
In similar, if you are to ban the corrida, you will be in ultimate saying goodbye to the bull. Not, however, in this case because the bull will estinctify. No! Let us be honest. Throughout all time, we have know that the bull is mankind’s natural enemy, after the Jew and the Muslim, that there is always been a danger in keeping sustained the bull population. But that was always the price we pay for the corrida. The bull is an estremely fierce and proud and big-balled beast. He lives for the corrida, for the opportunity to do battle with Man, to chase around the sawdust a multicolour curtain and diminutive hero with sword and lances and things. There is nothing finer, more noble, for the bull than to compete in the corrida, to choke slowly on its own lifeblood knowing that it have given everything in a carnal, cathartic orgy of agony, lust, muscles, meat, power, yearning, thrusting, and an object lesson in mortality in front of a crowd of appreciative Spanish aesthetes.
Escuse me, I must just go to the bathroom a minute.
Sorry about that. The sweat on my mouse was make it difficult to type. As you can see, I am get very het up when I am think about what we will lose if we allow the filthy Catalans to outlaw this holesome, educative and arousing spectacle from Spanish life. Is to be applauded, therefore, that the vice president of the Community of Madrid, Ignacio Gonzalez, have announced this morning that his government have moved to protect the corrida by declaring the bull an object of cultural importance and Spanish national heritage, so that anyone who tries to ban or hurt bulls is thereby a traitor to Spain. The president of the Community of Madrid, Esperanza Aguirre, have said that bulls are “belong to the Mediterranean and Spanish culture since time immemorial. Goya, Picasso, García Lorca, Hemingway, Orson Welles and recently Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear have handled bulls in such a way as to prove their artistic importance.”
In the meantime, I am call upon all people of good conscience and well-meaningness to do whatever they can to impress upon the illegitimate parliament of Catalonia that this debate is an outrage and that the bull must be protect at all costs. Lobby your own governments to impose sanctions on Catalonia. Protest outside your local Catalan embassy and/or consulate and/or restaurant. And above all, refuse to handle any Catalan produce, mugs, women and boycott all travel companies, airlines, flotillas, pedaloes, and supermarkets which are facilitate the continued survival and economic self-sufficiency of this illegitmal and law-flouting state, until it decide conclusively that bulls have every right to exist and continue to meet their heroic and glorious demise at the hands of a noble toreador, just as he have for millions and millions of years, if the Bible is correct, which it is.
You are KNOW it make sense!
Besos
Manuel
Discussion
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Comment by: Walter Burns
Jun 5th 2010 at 22:06
I’m a bit of a bullthrower myself, but carry on with your story.
Comment by: Fearganainim
Sep 26th 2011 at 11:09
You type with your mouse? That’s amazing!! (and time consuming).
Muy Bien!
Comment by: Manuel Estimulo
Sep 26th 2011 at 15:09
Hola Ferganananaim!
Is a euphonium. My mouse is what I call my penis. I am not use it to type, however. I use my dictaphone.
Besos
Manuel