
Pwnaldo!!
I am a broke man!!
You are all must be enjoying the World Cup as much as I am. This have especially been a fantastic World Cup for all the Ireland football supporters, much better than if their team was being there. They have been esperienceing unadulteried pleasure at watching France crash and burn, and then drown before being hanged drawn and quartled. Although is only now the French government is demanding to know how come the manager and the team could bring the country into such disrepute. Is a question they should have been asking after the match against Ireland in the qualifiers!
Also for the Ireland fans has been the joy of seeing their former colonial masterds England being humiliate by the Germans again. And not even an Aryan master race German team but a bunch of Turks, midgets, circus freaks, and clowns. The only proud Aryan amongs them was the mighty Sebastian Schicklegruber. The rest was half-breeds, and they STILL spank the English arses.
I too have been supporting the proxy Irish teams, but most of my arousal has been at the performances so far of the Spain, who once again showed that they own Portugal, not just historically and geographically but, more importantly, morally, as proved on the football pitch the other night. Indeed, the best that Portugal have to offer were soundly put in their place, and, as if to demonstrate our complete dominance, Real Madrid has also bought Portugal’s best sports esports, namely Cronaldo and Jose Mourinho. As long as they can acculturate themselves to the civilized life of Madrid, they will undoubtedly flourish to the best of their limited ability. Is a shame only that Real cough up so much money for Cronaldo, since it turn out after the match that he say he is a broke man. If we had known that beforehand we could have pick him up for 50 bob a week and a jar of peanut butter, which is what they eat in Portugal. And sardines. Is no wonder he is spitting all the time!
The Spain victory and the Germany victory were also important for a greater, pan-European reason, however. And that is because both of the teams was sponsored by Adidas, the multinational corporate sweatshop employer of choice for all correct-thinking Europeans. Adidas is a proud German manufacturer with a long tradition of making football things. Whereas Nike is a decadent corrupt American chancer who have historically had nothing to do with either football or Europe escept when bombing it. Nike is a johnny come afterwards who, let us not forget, was try before the last World Cup to sign the German team away from Adidas with an offer of billions of dollars and membership of the Skull and Bones club (the Germans sensibly pointed out that they already had one). Nike have also spent $666 million on marketing for this World Cup. That figure alone should make you suspicious.
Spain against Portugal was a match which pit Adidas (good) against Nike (evil), and the England versus Germany match was pit Umbro (owned sneakily by Nike [evil]) against Adidas (good [again]). It is imperative that Europe does not let football get taken out of its hands by the Americans. Here are the Adidas teams for you to support: Germany, Spain, Argentina, Paraguay. Here are the Nike teams for you to boo: Brazil, Netherlands. The match on Friday between Netherlands and Brazil will see all good Europeans booing both teams. Sept Blatter, who have done up til now a very good job of fixing everything for the Germans and Spanish to win, may have done an oversight here, and also in the other match, between Uruguay and Ghana, both of which is sponsored by Puma. While this is mean at least one non-Adidas team is guarantee to go out, it also is mean that one goes through. Thus we will have two non-Adidas teams in the semi-finals. Is a big disgrace!
For Paraguay v Spain you must cheer Spain but not boo too much the Paraguay. And for Germany v Argentina it doesn’t matter. Most of them all have relations in the other country anyway.
Does anyone know the best way to get Portuguese spit out of a living room carpet?
Discussion
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Comment by: Pope Epopt
Jul 2nd 2010 at 12:07
Gracias, Manuel. I was unaware of the centrality of footwear in the titanic struggle.
But I can’t help noticing that even the mighty Falangist machine that is the equipo de España have a penchant for long hair and fluorescent boots.
I feel compelled to ask, as one real man to another, is that not a little…well…effete?
Comment by: Manuel Estimulo
Jul 5th 2010 at 14:07
Hola Epope!
Is a long way from the Falangist machine of my dreams. As you can see, it have a great many Catalans integral to it, like Puyol, with his hair and slowness, and Piqué, with his beard and his slowness, all of which we Spanish must live with foir the sake of integrating the former colonies into civilize Spanish society.
In the case of the idiot Torres, however, I espect the hair situation is down to superstition or some such nonsense. Whatever the reason, he was come to this the World Cup with the reputation of Samson, but he has play like Delilah!