Meet the Spartniks!
As regular readers of my blog are already know, my father was in the Spanish air force back in the time when it was the poor relation of the arm services. The navy and army and Spanish Foreign Legion was get most of the glory during the Spanish Civil War for Golf, and because there was no airplanes in Spain in those days, Franco borrowed Hitler’s mighty Laftwuffe, whose notorious Condor Legion could bomb with pinpoint inaccuracy and was responsible for such atrocities as Coventry city centre and Picasso’s Guernica. In my father’s day, things were had have moved on a little, but even then the pilots was all having to share one plane between them, a decommished Douglas DC-3 which was bought from BOAC. One of the pilots and navigator would take off, while all the other 30 pilots would sit in the passenger seats, passing comments and making notes, and then they would take their turns flying the plane, practicing strafing, bombing, pretend machine gunning, loopy-loops, aerobantics, hide-and-seek, and cetera, and then also landing or crashing. Usually the pilot who was best at landing the plane did that bit.
In them days, having 32 men coop up in a confine space having larks and high-jinx and serving one another airline food and cockedtails and generally cavorting at altitude was a recipe for disaster, or worse, homosexuality. Remember, there was no trollie-dollies in the air force, so somebody had to be the lady. Fortunately, back then, there was also no homosexuality in Spain, because Franco had made them all convert. Those was the times, if you remember, although of course you are too young to remember, when Adolf Hitler make a promise that “every German lady will have a husband, no matter how ugly she is,” which was ensure that he had all the women of Germany on his side, as well as all the ladies of other countries who did not want to marry German men; it was used to be said back then that “Hitler had his hands in the knickers of every woman in Germany.” But in a nice way. Similarly, in Falangist Spain, there was no space for gayness. Unless it was a prison cell. This was not a case of homophobia, however, despite what you may imagine. Homophobia is fear of homosexuals, and we was not scared of them. If we had been scared of them, we would not have been able to beat them up or imprisom them.
A great deal have changed since those kingfisher days, of course, but it was still come as a great shock to me when I read this article in the paper the other day about the Spanish air force, who have just expel their first gay married man for being psychologically unfit for duty. What is shocking is not that he is a Spanish gay, since they are all over the place these days, but this bit:
En septiembre de 2006, Linero y Alberto Sánchez Fernández, también soldado destinado en la base de Morón de la Frontera (Sevilla), se casaron en el Ayuntamiento de Sevilla vestidos con el traje de gran gala del Ejército del Aire, en la que se definió como la primera boda entre militares homosexuales españoles.
La ceremonia fue oficiada por el alcalde de Sevilla, Alfredo Sánchez Monteseirín (PSOE), con asistencia de la concejal del PP Evelia Rincón y unos cien invitados entre familiares y amigos, además de varios militares compañeros de los novios.
What this is say is that two members of the military got married in their uniforms, and that this was not just acceptable but was preside over by the mayor of Seville (who was a socialist, so is no surprise there) but also with the assistance of a PP councilman and also not even in secret!, with friends and family there and also comrades from the military!! Is a big disgrace!
The once-proud tradition of shame and dissimulation and hiding one’s carnal desires have disappear entirely from modern society, not just between men and women but also between men and men and women and women. And you can trust me, because I am have done the research. Thoroughly. In Franco’s Spain, there was none of this nonsense. The hole society was militarized. Indeed, I can remember back in the 1970s, when all the communists and atheist socialists were causing trouble and stirring up discontent amongs the labour force, whenever there was a strike, El Generalísimo would put all of the striking workers on active military duty, so that, if they was refuse to work, they would be subjec to court martial for not obeying orders. This was a very clever and smart way of putting an end to any of that kind of thing, and the total militarization of society that way ensure also there was no homosexuality too. The laws which apply to the military apply to society as a hole.
Students of history will know, however, that this was only possible because we in Spain have fought the Spanish Civil War for Golf, a devout holy pious crusade of social hygience that enable us to fertilize the soil of Christian Spain with the blood of thousands of inverts, traitors, and infidels, all summarily esecuted so as not to corrupt our children with their foreing ideas. As consequences, we in Spain was having an almost utopian society after the war, and it was only due to the inflirtration of the country by its enemies in the 1960s and 1970s that everything was go downhill. In a golf cart.
Other societies was not so lucky. They was have to do things the hard way. Countries like America and Britain and France did not kill all their subversants, with the result that when war came and they was introduce conscuption for everyone, it meant that all the subversants were being give full military training and was teached how to use guns, bombs, grenades, and how to attack mansions and stately homes and castles with moats and so on. What a crazy idea!! Is bad enough teaching all your peasants to read. Imagine teaching them to read AND how to use weapons. Is an utter stupid!
After both world war ones and twos, Great Britain was close to revolution, in much part because of the suffering and brutality, but also because the stupid government had arm the workers. It was take a while to dawn on the slow demented inbred English aristocracy, but finally they realize that this is not the way to run an army. You need to have volunteers from the peasantry who are sutiably indoctrinated with patriotism, underneath an officer hierarchy which is entirely drawn from the ruling class. This is why now all the private schools in England teach their pupils officer training and why the aristocrats go hunting. It keeps them in tip-top military form and peek conditions, while the workers are all sat in front of the idiot-box and eating fish and chip and don’t even know how to use a fork, let alone a knife or catapunt. And in America, the last time they was try conscuption it was for the Vietnam War, and that resulted in hippies. They won’t do that again.
This logic of a militarize ruling class (when you cannot militarize society as a hole) was originally drawn from the Spartniks, who pinched the idea from Friedrich Nietzsche, famous for the saying, “Man is made for war, and woman is made for pleasure. All is else is madness.” And he should know. The Spartniks engaged full-time in military training, and periodically they were allow thmselves to declare war on their own underclass, the Helots, who was the peasants and slaves and who provide the food for the society but who was not allow to possess weapons or to receive military instruction. What is also interesting about the Spartniks, however, and which is finally bring me to my point, is that the army was organize in such a way that every fighting man was given a partner, another fighting man, and they was often go in to battle tied together. What is more, the Spartnik society encourage the fighting men to love one another in a disgusting carnal way, so that they would be prepare to die for one another, but more important, kill for one another, on the battlefield.
Now although this is sound like something straight out of a gay porno fantasy (although I was drew the line at that particular research, so I am not sure), there is a logic here that I am think we could make use of to improve our decadent corrupt democratic Western atheist society one smidgen the better: Don’t ban gays in the military. Make it compulsory! That way, we get all the homosexuals out of mainstream society and put in the full-time professional army. They will all be over the moon at the camaraderie and dressing up and marching and will be willing to kill and just die for one another, and at the same time this will avoid the need for having to train the peasantry in military skills. Of course, the officer class will still all be members of the ruling families, but wider society will be free of homosexuality’s influence, we can post them all overseas to hot and sunny places a lot of the time, and this will do away also with that ridiculous kerfuffle they have in America over “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” You will be able to tell by the way they use their walk.
This is possibly too radical blue sky at night thinking for some people, and I know I will take flak, and possibly shrapnel, from some of my Falangist comrades for suggesting that the army’s proud traditions of vigourous heterosexual brutality should be besmirch in this way, like a dark turd smeared across the Spanish flag, but I am trying to make the best of a bad fist. We have to work with what we are given, and although we fascists are not known for our compromise, this is a modern solution to a modern problem. It is not a final solution, obviously, and a final solution is probly out of the question once we have armed the gays, but it does mean the only people who will get killed in wartime will be non-breeders, so we can spare them anyway, and all the normal lovely civilian Spanish ladies will have every chance of finding a decent pious diminutive but hairy heterosexual Spanish husband such as myself, because we won’t not be being blown up abroad for the greater glory of Halliburton.
Is a joke!