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Meeting Room, South Dublin County Council


45 public servants

SEO: So the horses are counted and double-counted?

45 public servants
: Yes Boss.

SEO: And there are 19 horses by each of the counts?

45 public servants: Yes Boss.

SEO: And you’ve got someone in charge of overseeing not giving notice to the owners?

45 public servants: Yes Boss.

SEO: And vets, vans, wardens, Guardai and riot squad, all lined up for the capture and the pounding of the horses unbeknownst to the owners, or anyone else?

45 public servants: Yes Boss.

SEO: And when the young people are ringing to find out where their horses have gone
you’ve got someone in charge of not answering the phones?

45 public servants: Yes Boss.

SEO: And we’ve lined up a a good selection of leaks and slurs about the horses’ owners for the press?

45 public servants: Yes Boss.

SEO: And when the owners come down to the County Hall with their mothers and fathers demanding to know where their horses are after being thrown we’ve got someone in charge of not telling them?

45 public servants: We have indeed Boss.

SEO: And maintaining the silence? You have nominated an officer to oversee maintaining the silence about the fate of the horses?

45 public servants: Yes Boss. An officer and a deputy officer Boss.

SEO: For a four day period as agreed and signed off on last Wednesday?

45 public servants: That’s correct boss.

SEO: And the places of termination and disposal have been proofed and double-proofed.

45 public servants: Yes Boss. On three occasions.

SEO: There is no possibility, whatsoever, of their discovery by press or protesters or anyone else?

45 public servants: No way Boss.

SEO: And the terminating staff and the terminating techniques- these have all been approved and tested and double-tested.

45 public servants: Yes Boss. These are best we can get within the current fiscal parameters. In fact, to be perfectly transparent Boss,  the fiscal parameters have been breached on this occasion, but sure we can close down a swimming pool can’t we?

SEO: We can indeed. And the termination announcement has been drafted and the announcer selected?

45 public servants: The announcer and a substitute announcer have both been nominated Boss.

SEO: Very well. Let us proceed with the operation then.

45 public servants: Boss?

SEO: Yes?

45 public servants: Would it be alright if we asked you a question?

SEO: What is it?

45 public servants: Can we go watch the horses being put down Boss?

SEO: All 45 of you?

45 public servants: No boss. Grade 4’s and over only Boss. Please Boss.

SEO: Very well. But don’t get carried away.

45 public servants: We won’t Boss. We won’t get carried away.

Photo courtesy of raedcruz’s Flickr photostream. Commenting on the photo raedcruz says: “Photographed in 1994, the year Dublin County Council split into three seperate councils – Fingal, Dún Laoghaire/Rathdown & South Dublin – this is the newly built HQ of South Dublin County Council”.

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Dave Lordan is activist, poet and teacher. He blogs at davelordanwriter.com

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3 Responses

  1. Colm

    April 12, 2011 9:54 pm

    Very entertaining, but HEO is a Civil Service grade. You may have been thinking of SEO, which is a Local Authority management grade.

  2. Colm

    April 12, 2011 9:56 pm

    Oh, and the “civil servants”, if working for South Dublin County Council, would be public servants. All in the interests of authenticity, dontchaknow.

  3. Tomboktu

    April 13, 2011 9:45 pm

    Nah, Colm. The poem (as originally written)) is set after Croke Park has been implemented, when civil servants have been redeployed to local authorities, VECs, and so on. 😉