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Thursday, May 24th 2012

Holidaying with Leo

Author: Michael Taft of Notes on the Front

Published: December 2nd, 2011

Section: Articles, Economy

Discussion: 10 comments ↓

Possibly Related: , ,

According to the CSO, there is a growing number of people experiencing deprivation (read here and here for a full discussion of this on Progressive-Economy). In fact, nearly one-in-four of the population suffer two or more instances of deprivation. But that doesn’t stop our man, Minister Leo Varadkar, from assuring all those folk that, hey, the budget is going to be easy and everyone will have enough money for a holiday next year.  Indeed, Leo has come up with some holiday tips for the really hard-pressed.

For the 20 percent of the population that can’t afford to replace worn-out furniture.

LeoLeo advises: ‘It’s hard to get a good deal in Ireland on furniture.  I recommend you go antiquing in Barcelona.  Passeig de Gracia in the Eixample area is a good spot to start.  You can find some great bargains - I picked up a sweet 19th century miniature mahogany fall front bureau there recently.  And at €800 it was a steal.’

For the 19 percent of the population that can’t afford a morning, afternoon or evening out in the last fortnight.

LeoLeo advises: ‘I’m not surprised.  Even with all this deflation prices are still high (though my colleague Minister Bruton is trying to slash hospitality wages, so things could improve).  In the meantime, I can’t think of a better place to go for coffee than this little place in Montmarte next to the Sacré-Cœur Basilica I came across once in my bohemian days.  They have a wide range of coffee beans that they actually ground at your table!  My favourite is a rich dark Sumatra (but I like to pump the caffeine - ha, ha).  I won’t recommend any of the dinner places because . . . well . . you’re poor and  . . . well . . . you know.’

For the 15 percent of the population that can’t afford to have family or friends for a drink or meal once a month:

LeoLeo advises:  ‘You know me, I’m a straight talking guy.  If you can’t afford to have family or friends over you probably live in a dive and your friends (my friends, anyway) wouldn’t want to come over.  But they’ll be beating down the door of your crib if you rent a lovely villa.  After a hard week at work I like to retire to the Borgo Sette Tigli near Montepulciano in Tuscany.  These villas have a swimming pool, tennis, satellite TV, a laundry and its even wheelchair accessible!  I have a permanent account there.  You rent that and your friends (and even mine) will be queuing up to come over for some mussels and authentic Gnocchi.’

For the 11 percent who can’t afford heating all year around.

LeoLeo advises: ‘ For god’s sake, man - don’t sit around the gaff freezing your tushy off.  Head over to Lisbon.  You can crash in the Costa da Prata north of Lisbon.  Warm swimming and tasty barbequed sardines.  The great thing about this spot is that tourists haven’t copped on to the place - and there’s nothing worse than going to a place only to find it over-run with foreigners.  Just mention me to Guilherme over at the São Gabriel and he’ll russle you up a great seafood medley.  Whenever I drop in, Guilherme and I stay up all hours drinking new Alentejo wines and talking about the horses.  And warm?  Get outta here.’

Yes, our Leo has a holiday destination tailored just for your deprivation experience.  Unable to afford new clothes?  You’ll find some real bargains in the markets in Garmisch-Partenkirchen in the German Alps. Unable to afford a roast once a week?  Not to worry, you can order Jamón Iberico de Montanera over the counter in San Sebastian (that’s free-range, acorn-fed ham - no need to scrimp on holidays). Unable to afford two pairs of strong shoes?  Hand-crafted leather sandals are all the rage in Genoa.

So don’t be shy.  Leo is waiting for you to get in touch. Just contact him at Fine Gael’s branch office in Saint-Tropez between the hours of 10:30 and 12:30.  Otherwise, wander down to the pier where you’re sure to find him.

Discussion

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  1. Comment by: Small Girl

    Dec 2nd 2011 at 12:12

    Oh you wicked man Michael Taft. Point well made.

  2. Comment by: vincent wood

    Dec 2nd 2011 at 13:12

    Brilliant!

  3. Comment by: Coilin MacLochlainn

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 04:12

    Michael, that is completely daft and quite unfair. You have wasted a lot of time composing what you must think is funny but is anything but. Leo Varadkar was merely promoting Irish holidaying, it’s part of his brief as Minister for Tourism etc. Give the man a break, for Christ’s sake, he was not saying ‘let ‘em eat cake’ and he never would.

  4. Comment by: Small Girl

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 09:12

    Hi Coilin. I think it’s funny, it gave me a chuckle anyway. And while I don’t speak for Michael it is a different article to what I usually read by him. He usually writes in a serious manner about serious issues so the way I read this was that he’s having some fun borne out of sheer political frustration. And that’s the way I read it.

    I agree with you that Leo Varadkar was promoting holidaying and that is part of his job and I’m sure he works long hours and I’m sure that he’s hurt when he reads articles like this one, if he does.

    But since you introduced the analogy I would say that there are many who didn’t have a holiday this year (not even on home ground) and they, metaphorically, might feel like they’re looking through the gates at another class of people scoffing their gateaux. That class of people appear to be CEOs, barristers, bankers, accountants, compliance consultants and I have to say, politicians. Maybe I have it all wrong.

  5. Comment by: paul

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 11:12

    Let’s face it: reasoned argument hasn’t got any of us very far, the dry recital of facts hasn’t convinced anybody and laying bare the lies of the austerity junkies has got us nowhere. Perhaps it’s time to resort to sarcasm and satire.

    The likes of Varadkar thrive on argument and debate. But they are so impressed by their own importance they do hate ridicule.

  6. Comment by: Small Girl

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 12:12

    I agree Paul but ridicule can lose its way too. Satire has great potential to be revelationary (maybe even revolutionary) if 1. it doesn’t alienate those people who haven’t been higher educated and mightn’t understand it very well and 2. the satire is not just about itself (clever language) so much that it loses the purpose of using it. Michael does this well I think.

    The point he makes to me is that a politician talking about spending money on holidays is at this moment in time like an ‘expert’ telling the hard pressed to spend their few bob on luxuries so that others can make a few bob. And if he’s not talking to those who don’t have much cash well then he’s talking to people who do, richer people. The irony of it. It warrants writing about it through satire.

  7. Comment by: Coilin MacLochlainn

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 19:12

    Small Girl is a silly pseudonym for an adult, don’t you think? Why use one at all; it makes your points less believable because, if no one knows who you are, you can say anything, however implausible.

    Re Michael Taft, I respect and admire his work and his writings. Usually it is only when someone puts a foot wrong that people complain. That’s how and why I did. Hope you feel better now. I get the feeling from your posts that you know Michael Taft personally.

  8. Comment by: Small Girl

    Dec 3rd 2011 at 20:12

    Hi Coilin.

    Obviously I don’t think Small Girl is a silly pseudonym for an adult since I am both adult and a small girl (I’m tiny in stature and confidence and without a voracious appetite for political argument) so it’s most suitable you see. That doesn’t mean that I’m apolitical. And since you don’t know me, nor does anyone else who uses this site, including Michael Taft, it doesn’t matter a jot that my realnym is Vivienne Lawler. I have seen Michael on the telly 3 or 4 times, does that count as knowing him personally?

    Now that you know my name, are my previous posts more believable? or plausible even? more valid I’d say.

    And your hopes about my feeling better now because I posted a comment about Leo Varadkar and satire are unnecessary and a little defensive, don’t you think?

  9. Comment by: Coilin MacLochlainn

    Dec 6th 2011 at 01:12

    I’d say more valid and more plausible, Vivienne. And you just coined a new word (realnym).

  10. Comment by: Small Girl

    Dec 6th 2011 at 09:12

    Hmm … I’m tempted to say it’s the only coin I have in my belonging this morning Coilin but I’d be telling a lie - I have a fiver … for today and tomorrow.

    So no holidays soon for me but I absolutely do not begrudge anyone else who works hard their holidays. That’s only beautiful in written word. No wonder I’m tiny.

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