Old Kenny Apologises For Ireland to the Gintry


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In the presence of the gentry, Old Kenny the peasant, doffed his cap, crooked his knee, arranged his face in an expression of obsequious servility and said: ‘Savin’ yer presence, yer honours, but sure ’tis all our own fault, for we’re a feckless nation an’ not used at all at all to the ways of such as yer honours and when we got the few shillings, sure we went to the divil altogether, for such drinkin’ an’ spendin’ an buyin’ an’ sellin’ as you’d niver see in a dacent place like yer honours do have. What’ll we do at all? Aren’t we the terrible crowd altogether! Have pity on us, yer honours, for we’re only savages, we’re heathens for the drink an’ buyin’ up land an’ houses. Our only salvation is if yer honours could see yer way to punishin’ us for to make dacent people of us agin. Ochón is mo bhrón, but we’re the divil’s own people.’

The gentry looked on in distaste at this example of unregenerate sycophancy and hypocrisy and afterwards agreed that a nation so fatuous and servile deserved to be led by Old Kenny and his like. One gentleman repeated the old truism that ‘a people gets the government it deserves, not the government it wants’. In this case, observed another, they got both. Yet a third, this time a lady, was heard to ask the question: But didn’t somebody tell me that old Kenny was fond of saying things like ‘We are a proud people’…?

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William Wall is the author four novels, the most recent of which, This Is The Country (2005), has been described as a 'broad attack on the Celtic Tiger'. He has also published poetry and short stories.

2 Responses

  1. Robert

    January 28, 2012 5:44 pm

    I am reminded again that the Greeks have been taking to the streets chanting “we are not ‘The Irish’, we are not ‘The Irish’….” or should that be ‘Orish’?
    And like many others I have had ample opportunity to watch the various interviews on the Bloomberg chanel (dont worry I am looking forward to SKY pulling the plug save me £30 / month)and debates with world leaders, major industrialists, Madme Legarde, smiling like a female version of the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood at the Greeks, and then along comes our feckless leader.

    Dumphy hit the nail on the head last night on The Late Late…those we have (well i did’nt) elected to govern are intellectual light-wieghts…more importantly he singled out the spin-doctors and civili servants who should have briefed Kenny and Co properly. These namless shisters are the real culprits here…it is despairing to see the leader of thios great country, make us look like amaturish boors. I could go on and ask is it any wonder that we were so easily colonised, rolled over by the clergy, taken for a ride by the establishment, conned by the mainstream media, f*%@ed over by the previuous government…and we are back were we started…give me a break…we are The Orish…well I’m not…I outa here…