What will the Irish Constitution look like after the Fiscal Compact referendum

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The Ice Moon has contacts in the highest places (see pic above) and has been able to obtain a secret government memo with a full mockup of the new constitution as amended by the Fiscal Compact Referendum. The following are the relevant new articles:

Article 1

The Irish nation hereby abrogates its inalienable, indefeasible, and sovereign right to choose its own form of Government, to determine its relations with other nations, and to develop its life, political, economic and cultural, in accordance with its own genius and traditions and confers these rights on another crowd altogether.

Article 5

Ireland is a dependancy of the International Monetary Fund with a lot of really nice pubs.

Article 6

All powers of government, legislative, executive and judicial, derive, under the IMF, from the EU, whose right it is to designate the rulers of the State and, in final appeal, to decide all questions of national policy, according to the requirements of the ruling class at present constituted as multinational corporations.

Article 10

All natural resources, including the air and all forms of potential energy, within the jurisdiction of the Parliament and Government established by this Constitution and all royalties and franchises within that jurisdiction belong to the highest bidder.

Article 11

All revenues of the State from whatever source arising shall, without exception, form one fund, and shall be appropriated for the purposes of maintaining holders of bonds in Irish banks in the comfort to which they have become accustomed.

Article 28

The Government shall be responsible for nothing. The previous government shall be responsible for everything.

Article 29

Ireland affirms its devotion to the corporate ideal, capitalism, profit, co-operation with the USA, and denies any sense of solidarity with other nations especially Greece.

Article 34

Justice shall be administered in courts established by law by judges appointed in the manner provided by this Constitution, with extreme severity against the poor, the dissident and the weak, but shall not apply to the rich and powerful especially corrupt politicians, the bankers who bankrupted the country or the people who protected them.

Article 50

Laws enacted by the Oireachtas shall be checked first with the Bundesbank.

The unamended original may be downloaded here – do it now, it’s a laugh a minute.

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William Wall is the author four novels, the most recent of which, This Is The Country (2005), has been described as a 'broad attack on the Celtic Tiger'. He has also published poetry and short stories.